I'm going to get kicked out of beer league softball for this...

Hi 'Topes,

I would like to respectfully request a moratorium on all things "Girls are bad at sports", because at the very least it's really, really irritating and at the very worst, well I don't know if I can write about that that very well in an email. This attitude was particularly prevalent yesterday. All of the "Oh, I'm not hitting well, so I'm a girl" or "Those two girls just got you out, you are so bad at softball, because there's no way that they could possess any sort of skill" was out of control. Out of control. We Isotope gals get it, OK?* We've all been pushed to the bottom of the line-up, and even when there are the same amount of girls and guys at the games - we ladies are the only ones who are expected to sit on the bench, and when we are out on the field, we are relegated to positions that are typically seen as less essential than others. In any sport we all play together, this type of thing happens without too much complaint from us. However, hearing you all verbalize your contempt for the ladies is completely and totally unnecessary, and it would be nice if it could just ... stop.

I understand that a lot of this banter is just 'bros being bros' and something you all just do. I also recognize that I'm being a gigantic boner killer here.** I was really pissed about this yesterday. I tried to give myself some time to chill out...but I'm still finding myself pretty angry about it. Along with that, I'm incredibly disappointed. These types of attitudes are very pervasive. You are all smart, talented young men who will someday be in charge of labs (with women!), you'll be teachers (of women!), and some of you might even be lucky enough to have daughters (who will turn into young women before you know it!). They will all be smart, and they'll recognize your attitudes, whether you mean for them to or not. I'm not sure there's much of a difference between the idea that girls = bad at sports vs. girls = bad at science and math. It might not be obvious, but it will be there under the surface, and it's a terrible thing for a young woman to realize, whether it's from her professor, from her friends, or from her father. It breaks my heart a bit that the little girl across the field from us yesterday may have heard you guys talking about the women in her life in such a derogatory manner. It makes me angry that her brother may have heard it too, potentially reinforcing the gender stereotypes that run rampant in our society. You guys may not have bothered to notice that there were even kids over there, but your words and your actions? They matter. A lot. And with that, it looks like I just got into the worst of it without quite meaning to.

This email won't be popular. I know that. I know you'll all make fun of me for having brought it up at all. You'll say I'm over- reacting, or being crazy, or that I have PMS or something, etc. If you've even made it this far, I bet you'll somehow attempt to dismiss my point of view. I expect nothing but that, which also makes me sad and disappointed. Hell, you might not even want me to be on your teams anymore. I send this acknowledging all of that, but I'm going to do it anyway. I love playing sports with you all - it's fun and a distraction from all of the actual important shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. I send this with the sincere hope that maybe, just for a second, you'll think about a certain population of us that have to deal with a lot of very discriminatory annoying bullshit ALL THE TIME just for being women...and would rather not have it intrude upon our leisure time. So, please, just STFU? Maybe? At least for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoons?

Thanks.


Your resident feminist,

Sarah